It was in Picher, Oklahoma, back in about 2000-2002. There was a great snow, I’d have to say it was at least 2 to 3 feet of snow all around and the roads were completely iced over. School was cancelled and had been for a few days now. Malachi, Our Cousin Ricky and myself were all at our house on Vantage Street, and we were bored. You know how little boys can be when they get bored; we’ll just say it’s not the best that comes out in them. Well our mom was with a man named Ray Vickers at the time and he was a wielder, and out in the garage there were all sorts of sheet metal. Malachi and I had known it was out there and we got the bright idea that we were going to go sledding.
So being the boys that we were we went ahead and grabbed Ricky along for the ride. Well in the town of Picher there are these things called chat piles, and what a chat pile is (for those of you who don’t know), it’s the excess rock and mineral that they piled up when they were digging out the mines back in the early 1900’s. So needless to say they weren’t the safest place to go, but hell it had just snowed and we knew we could go fast down one of those things with our makeshift sled.
It just so happened that there were two chat piles by the house, both steep and untamed ready to be taken on. We stared in wonder at each chat pile and finally came to the conclusion of which one was the safest and we took our happy little asses up to the top. That was a battle in and of itself, me and Malachi both took an end of that sheet metal and struggled to bring it to the top. The wind wasn’t kind to say the least because it would snatch at that sheet metal and take us back a few steps. Hard work and determination led us to the top and to our surprise the snow was up to our waists up at the top.
We really got a kick out of how deep the snow had accumulated up top this monstrous pile of mineral waste. So we put the sled down, Malachi sat on the front and I was right behind him. “Hey Rick, you need to get on this with us, this is going to be so awesome!” Malachi and I urged eagerly to Ricky. “I don’t know about that man, it looks kind of scary I think I’ll just watch this time.” Ricky replied. “Well you at least have to give us a good push then, since you’re gonna puss out on us.” Malachi told Ricky.
So Ricky did and then we began speeding down that giant snow covered beast. Powder of snow shooting behind us mixed with chat, I swear we had to be going at least 35 to 40 miles per hour. Then WOOSH we hit the bottom, but we didn’t steady out and keep on once we did. Oh no, we had made the biggest mistake in our history of snow sledding, we had forgotten to pull back the front of the sheet metal, so it stuck straight in the ground and I flew one way and Malachi flew the other, crashing hard into the snow packed chat. When I finally came to I had a chipped tooth and there was a puddle of blood in front of me. It was well worth the pain though, because the ecstasy that filled our little bodies as we flew down that chat pile was more exhilarating than anything ever.
This next memory I think Malachi was 19, and Kyle was 20 and so was I. So this one night Malachi, our great friend Kyle, and myself were all taking Kyle’s dad Bruce (our old high school principal) back his bicycle. Well we got the bright idea that since there wasn’t enough room in Malachi’s Jeep that we would tie a rope off to the bumper and that one of us could ride behind the Jeep. Well Malachi being ballsy, like he so often was, decided to take this task upon himself. So we’re going down A Street in Picher heading towards Kyle’s parents and the ride was going smooth so far.
Well we turn down 620 Road and start towards Kyle’s mom and dad’s place, and we hit about 50 miles per hour and Malachi behind us goes into a crazy speed wobble and I start freaking out, “Kyle slow down man we’re bout to lose Mal!” I said slightly agitated, but mainly nervous. Meanwhile all I hear out the window is, “Shit, ho shit, oh shit!” Luckily Mal knew what he was doing and whipped that bike back straight and Kyle slowed down just in time that no major damage was done.
So we get the bike back to Kyle’s parents’ house and we head back over to our mom’s and around this time it was getting pretty dark. Well wouldn’t ya know it, we just so happened to see a hitchhiker walking down A Street heading towards P-Town. Well Malachi pipes up and mentions, “Hey Bone (that would be me), you know that Jon-Jon got a new paintball right?” I look to Mal and say, “Yeah, what’s up?” With a big smirk he says to me and Kyle, “Let’s go grab it and pop a few off at that ole boy, teach him to not be walking around so late.”
I laughed at just the thought of doing it and Kyle being Kyle or rather the responsible one at the time said, “That’s not a great idea we could get in a lot of trouble guys.” Malachi quick on his toes replied, “Nah man, ain’t nuthin gonna happen to us.” So with the thought of mischief in our hearts we rode to mom’s house grabbed Jon’s paintball gun, while he snoozed, hopped in Kyle’s Firebird and headed back down good ole A Street, heading out of town.
For some reason unknown to me at this time, I was driving, Malachi was riding shotgun (or rather paintball gun) and Kyle was riding bitch in the backseat. That was pretty funny, especially since it was Kyle’s baby we were all cruising around in. Nervous/excited I drove us slowly down the path we were on, and rolled Mal’s window down. Up ahead we seen the stranger, and Kyle offered up a few more small protests, however, he was too late. POP-POP The CO2 resounded through the atmosphere as Mal fired off the first two rounds. “SHIT! DAMN!” Cried the stranger, but his howls didn’t stop because POP-POP PUH-POP-POP-POP. Malachi seen it fit to do the double finger roll on the vagabond, and we all exclaimed with glee as the man dove into the ditch giving his last yelps of explicit. And we sped off into the night to indulge in some Waffle House goodness.
Speaking of Waffle House, one night Malachi, Kyle and Myself were all enjoying some good ole time vittles when walks in this biker, and I mean we seriously thought this cat was a biker. The man was decked from head to toe in leather, I kid you not, chaps, Harley-Davidson boots, leather jacket, leather gloves and to top it off he was wearing a leather skull-cap. Thinking nothing of it we watched him closely for a bit, while we waited on our order to be delivered.
So this biker he finishes up and we’re soon to follow. So we get outside and we see him talking to someone and right beside them is his hog, just kidding it was a lime green like 1980 something freaking Honda. So we get in the Jeep and as we pass the guy, Malachi rolls down his window and shouts out, “I’d rather see my sister in a whore house than my brother on a Honda!” And to top it off Mal lands the finishing blow with a “Beeotch!” Demoralized the biker had nothing to retort and we drove off laughing.